At the end of the day the batteries are running very low. At the end of a hard day I might run out of energy all together. Today is one of those days where the batteries are empty. It doesn´t mean it wasn´t a good day just that it took a lot of energy to make it look good for all the people I was in contact with today. I wish it wasn´t such hard work just to appear reasonably normal. I noticed my little "failures" today which is something new. Normally they would stick out and be noticed by others who would or would not point them out to me, depending how well the know me. But today no pointing out was needed, I saw them myself. It will be a great help in adjusting my behaviour when I am with other people but it also means loss. I will in future be able to supress them in order to fit in better. Okay, I benefit from that too but I also lose part of myself. It seems to me that I have to give up myself piece by piece as I step into the world step by step. I wonder whether it is worth it...at the end of the day.
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